Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
