my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
