He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize