Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
