I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
