If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
