I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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