just come out here and I will go home with you...
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
