Fine. I'll sleep in my office
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
