There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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