Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
