he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
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