ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
