saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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