NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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