I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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