he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
