I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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