weddingsv make me drug and hornr
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
