she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
