Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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