One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
