We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
she pinky promised me she was 18
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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