Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
