these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
