the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize