When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
