Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
