Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
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