Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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