Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize