I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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