I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
