and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
