did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Your penis caused this!
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
