Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I could fuck to npr.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
