i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
