so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
foreskin is a definite game changer
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
