You work out of a Hotel?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
What a dumb baby whore.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
