Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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