Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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