I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
