you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
