this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize