Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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