I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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