There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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