it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
