The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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