Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
whose ass print is on the piano?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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