There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
