dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
