just survived the first fart of the relationship.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
