i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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