please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
