I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
