also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
