don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
