adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
