so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
